Surprise! I am back!

Hola tout le monde! (Yes that is Spanish and French)

SURPRISE!! I am back. HELLO! HI! How ya doin'? Ok, enough of that.

Where have I been? The answer is simple... here, there, everywhere.

What have I done? Not much... you know.. got married... no big deal.

And from that moment on... I STOPPED CARING. lol. Typical Becka.

My weight on my wedding week was 175.3 lbs. I was happy, I felt happy. I have never felt more beautiful and sexy than I was on my wedding day. It made my heart so happy to be in that dress, 25lbs lighter than the start of my weight loss journey. Since then, however, I gave up on diet and exercise. I was recklessly eating whatever and where ever I wanted. The big event was over... why do I still want to lose weight?

From August 25th to about mid October I had gained 10 lbs. I was officially back at 184.(something). Two months and ten pounds. If I kept going I would gain 60 lbs in one year! It is crazy how fast one can gain so much weight and how much work it takes to lose it again. I stopped posting my weekly weigh ins on Instagram (@beckybeatsthebinge). That's when I realized (as I was self reflecting.. a frequent past time) that I want to lose weight and be healthy so that I can have a happy life. So I can walk go to my husband's Christmas work parties and not be self conscious of what I look like in my dress. I don't want to be squeezing into spanks and constantly worried about my double chin in every picture I take. That is not a fun life. That is now who I am or who I want to be. 

So, in about Mid-October I decided to get back onto a healthy lifestyle (not a diet) and get back into figuring out how to have a new lifestyle that is sustainable and realistic. I have not gone into hardcore dieting like I did at the beginning of the year, but I am trying to make my lifestyle more balanced in a way that I am not obsessing, but I am still losing weight. I was doing okay, but still fluctuating and having a hard time getting out of the mid 180s.

That is when I got advertised (thanks facebook) for Noom. I LOVE it so far. Tomorrow marks the end of my 14 day free trial and I have already lost 4.4lbs. It is awesome. The really cool thing about it (and this is totally not sponsored... if that isn't clear) is that it is actually teaching some really cool psychology tips that go along with weightloss. It has been super beneficial to learn how my brain works and how weightloss is just as much psychological as it is physical.

It is taking it day by day and everyday I learn a new tip or trick to help me navigate my life. It has taught me so much in such a short amount of time and I am so thankful for it. It is not this app that makes you feel awful for eating the wrong things. I can't even describe all that I have learned the past two weeks. Here is a QUICK list of some of the first things that pop up in my mind.

Calorie dense foods

Different types of food triggers *BEST LESSON SO FAR*

Portion size guides

Staying motivated

SOS Plan *For those days when I can tell I am about to go off the rails*

This is just a quick list off the top of my head that I can think of. To be honest, 4.4 lbs in two weeks. I will take it..  I am excited to continue on my journey with Noom and trying to figure out a healthy lifestyle. 

Official weigh in tomorrow!

Hope you are all well.

Stay focused,

-Becka. xo

Weigh In Day (Back into a Routine)

Hello There Everyone!

It is Sunday! Weigh-In/ Reflection Day!

This week has had be focusing on the kitchen. Making healthy lunches, making healthy meals, and not snacking in between. I had a pretty great week (apart from Thursday... but we will get to that in a second). I started doing something I haven't done in a long while and that is myfitnesspal. I have started tracking my calories- just out of curiosity- and stopping to notice what is going on with my nutrition. 

I did really well all week. I hate proper portion sizes (thank-you 21 Day Fix portion control containers) and all of my meals were contributing to my health in a positive manner. NO COMFORT EATING. Monday- DREAM; Tuesday- DREAM; Wednesday- EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZEY... Thursday.... uh-oh.

I am not sure what triggered it on Thursday but it was not a good day for me. I came home feeling rather hungry (and with a migraine) so i decided to casually eat a snack as I was preparing an early dinner. This dinner (although not the healthiest) was supposed to be properly portion sized and created to fit within my calories perfectly. It was home-made pizza; AND I DID A GOOD JOB. I only had two small pieces with exactly 12 pepperoni and a little bit of cheese. This wasn't the part that went south for me. The part that went south was the munching on snacks while I was cooking. I was preparing a (relatively) healthy meal all while I was not paying any attention to what I was stuffing my face with while cooking. I will be honest... I don't know how much I actually ate. All I know is I had crackers out and was putting two pepperoni on each cracker along with a healthy helping of cheddar cheese. 

I didn't even notice until I woke up bloated. Tired. Feeling awful. I thought to myself: "what can this be from!? I had a great eating day yesterday!" I literally had to stop and think about what I did to realise that I wasn't being careful. I binged... again. BUT, it was fine! I got up, chugged some water, made my Shakeology smoothie and went on my way. I knocked Friday and Saturday out of the park and I am SO proud of myself for staying on track. Old Becky would have given up and said "screw it. I will start again on Monday." NOT THIS GIRL! NO SIR! I got back on the horse this time and continued on my week. I learned from this mistake and on Friday I measured out my after school snack properly and went on my merry way.

Let's check out this week's weigh-in:

Weigh In:

Original Weight: 202.6 lbs

Last Weight: 179.6 lbs

              Current Weight: 177.4 lbs

Weight Lost From Last Time: -2.2 lbs

Total Lost: 25.2 lbs

Last Week's Goals Reflections:

Goal #1: WATER BABY. Get that water in. 

SUCCESS! I have had my full 8oz (or more) every day this week. It has been getting easier. When I look back on it now, I don't actually think I had any other beverages apart from water this week. WHOA. That is huge for me. Well Done, Becky.

Goal #2: Breakfast (Shakeology or something else... but get it in!)

DONE AGAIN! If you have read any of my blog then you know that I STRUGGLE with breakfast. There is something about me (and I don't know what it is) but I am never hungry in the morning. EVER. I literally have to force myself to eat in the mornings. This makes it rather hard to actually have breakfast. Once I get going in the morning everything else seems more important than eating simply because I am not hungry. 

This week was different. With the help of Shakeology, I have had breakfast every day! Even this weekend! (See picture below).

Goal #3: WORK OUT

Ooops... I knew I was forgetting something. Okay, okay.. I know... it is bad that I didn't workout. I am owning up to it right now. I did not work out.. done. I said it.. therefore it is true. I write this because it is very hard for me to not go back to last weeks blog and change the third goal. Failing is very hard for me... and so here I am saying that I failed.

I didn't workout... I did, however, walk my dog every day and had a HUGE fight with the couch as I tried to vacuum said dog's fur off (shedding seasons sucks when you own a husky). 

There.. I failed.. admit to it.. and move on. 

This Week's Goals:

I am actually really happy with how this week turned out. I am proud of myself for getting back on track and I am only 1.4 lbs away from where I was before my vacation (thank GOD). Here are my goals:

Goal #1: Work Out

Not every day but make an improvement from last week. One day is better than none. You can do this. Sit down and make yourself a promise that you will not break. Work out ONCE this week. DO IT.

Goal #2: Measure Out Snacks

No more "grabbing a handful." Measure out everything you put in your mouth. This isn't to restrict myself so much, but to become self aware of what proper portion sizes are. I want to use my 21 Day Fix Containers to make sure I am fueling my body in the best way possible

Goal #3: Personal Growth

I am learning so much by reading "Girl, Wash Your Face" by Rachel Hollis. I want to continue to read her book and learn ways to become a better me.

That's it for this week.

I hope you have a great week!

Stay Focused,

Becky

xo

Hola Everyone: Vacation Blues.

Howdy Ya'll!

It has been some time since my last post, true true.

We had March Break on the last two weeks of March. I went to my parents' house for a week and then to Edmonton with my fiance for a week. Let me tell you something: HOLIDAYS ARE THE WORST! Thank goodness I can't afford to take a million vacations because my eating was OUT OF WHACK for two whole weeks. It was awful. I literally ate lunch and dinner at a restaurant every day for TWO WHOLE WEEKS. Even when trying to choose "healthier option" I had the most difficult time. 

It wasn't pretty... and I knew what I was doing... and it resulted in a whopping 5.2lbs gain (on April 1st). INSANE. NOT HAPPY. WHAT WAS I THINKING!? Ugh... would it have killed me to meet with someone after lunch and have a healthy lunch at home? Apparently... YES. Apparently when I go to hangout with people or catch up with people it HAS to be over a meal. Is anyone else like that? I ate out more during those two weeks than I have my ENTIRE weight loss journey. It was insane. UGH.

The past week has been a big pity party for myself. While I haven't gone out to eat, I still have not been making the healthiest of choice: having 2 wraps instead of 1, eating junk, having second helpings, etc. I have been stepping on the scale every day to try and see that 5.2 pounds leave, but not even taking any steps in the right direction to see that weight melt off. (Yes, I know stepping on the scale every day is not healthy... I know... but I couldn't help it). Last Sunday I was so upset about the weigh gain that I did not meal plan or meal prep. 

I was feeling so bad about myself and having a huge pity party instead of getting my head back in the game and working my ass off (literally).

So this Sunday has been different. I made a list of things I love about myself and what I am proud of. I have come such a long way since 202.6 lbs and I can't let this set back ruin my success. I was honest with myself and told myself  that gaining 5lbs is not work losing all of this progress. If I kept doing what I was doing, I would gain it all back (and quick). 

(Side Note: isn't it funny how long it takes to lose 5lbs but it took me 2 weeks to gain 5lbs? This is how people get to be 500+ lbs so easily- imagine what it would be like to eat fast food every day).

SO:

This week WILL be different. 150% different. Alex and I have planned out our meals for the week and I have started meal prepping too.  I have some goals for this week and I will stick to them. Here are my goals:

Goal #1: WATER BABY. Get that water in. 

Goal #2: Breakfast (Shakeology or something else... but get it in!)

Goal #3: WORK OUT

Essentially my goals are to get back to the basics.

Weigh In:

Original Weight: 202.6 lbs

Last Weight: 176.0 lbs

              Current Weight: 179.6 lbs

Weight Lost From Last Time: +3.6 lbs

Total Lost: 23 lbs

HAVE A GREAT WEEK :)

Stay Focused,

-Becky.

Sunday Reflection

Happy Sunday!

Sunday is my day for relaxation, preparation, and reflection.

I am just leaving this here as a record (as I do not want to forget to post). I have a course to be doing so I will get to that soon, but first I am going to post my check in!

Weigh In:

Original Weight: 202.6 lbs

Last Weight: 178.2lbs

              Current Weight: 176.0lbs

Weight Lost From Last Time: 2.2 lbs

Total Lost: 26.6 lbs

I will write a post later this week. It is going to be a crazy week for me!

Stay Focused, 

Becky. xo

Second Round 21 Day Fix

Round Two is OVER!

This round of 21 day fix I focused a lot more on eating than I did working out. Unfortunately it is Report Card Season, and it really does not leave time for working out (I know it is an excuse, but I feel okay with it this time...). Report card season means a lot of stress. Stress (normally) means over eating and not taking care of myself. These past couple weeks have consisted of trials and errors and a small journey of how to cope with stress without stress eating. I admit, week #2 was tough and stress eating won a couple of times (2), but I reflected and rebuilt myself from those failures.

I did my measurements this morning and lost another 11.5 inches this round. This makes my grand total 23 inches since January 7th! It is unbelievable. 

I also had another non-scale victory this week. I fit back into some size 12 pants that never fit me! I bought them in 2014 (ish) and they never really fit because I ordered the wrong size. I should have gotten a 14. I always kept them (I have two pair in two different colours) because I wanted to fit in them one day. Well, this week (Tuesday I think) I needed black pants for an outfit and I could not find my regular black pants. I saw these old, never worn pants in the closet and decided I would put them on for the heck of it... not expecting that they would fit at all. AND THEY DID. They fit! I could button them up with no muffin top! They are still a little tight but I still wore them to work and it was a GREAT day. I was so happy. Below are a picture of me in the beige pair. I took a picture in the beige ones so you could see they are same pants!

This week will be a quick week, I don't really know what to write about to be honest. Here is my weigh in update!

Weigh In:

Original Weight: 202.6 lbs

Last Weight: 179.4lbs

              Current Weight: 178.2 lbs

Weight Lost From Last Time: -1.2 lbs

Total Lost: 24.4 lbs

Have a GREAT week!

Stay Focused,

-Becky, xo.

Courage

I was looking at quotes about success and failure (which I will share down below) and I decided to call this blog post courage from the following: 

https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/failure

This quote really stood out for me. Since I failed this week at sticking to my goals and eating nutritionally, I needed motivation. So here I am to give you motivation (if you need it) and share with you my weekly reflection.

If you have already read my update this week (click here if you haven't) then you know this week has been a rough week. I have not be strict with  my nutrition and I have not been exercising. It was rough. I was putting myself down (a lot) but not getting up do do anything about it. It wasn't until Thursday (Pizza day at school) that I realised something needed to change. There is not point in talking myself down and not doing anything to fix what was going on. 

http://dailyquotes.co/failure-inspires-winners-success-quotes/

So, I made a weekend plan.  Starting on Friday, all the way to Sunday. I had a goal in mind, I set out my intentions for the next few days (short term goals) and set out to do them. No cheat meals, no guessing what I was going to eat. I could make no over eating decision because I had a plan. I sat down with my fiance and we planned meals (all of them) and that was that. It is 1 pm on Sunday, and I must say this weekend has been one of the most successful I have ever had!

http://consult4sales.com/fail-plan-plan-fail-2/

That may seem harsh, but a huge part of being successful in this journey is planning. Setting out weekly intentions, planning meals, prepping meals... it all has a huge part in my success. This gets my mind in the perfect framework to be successful. 

What I am going to do this week:

Only Plan Mon-Wed in detail so that I am not losing sight of the rest of the week.

On Wednesday I will play Thursday/Friday

On Friday I will plan Saturday/Sunday

http://fitnessfunatics.ca/2015-new-years-resolution/

I want to see if this will work differently for me this week. Instead of planning the entire week, I will do a few days at a time to focus and remember what I am doing AND to reflect and improve. I should be reflecting throughout the week, not just on Sundays.

Anyways, now to get to the knitty-gritty... what you all came here for:

Weigh In:

Original Weight: 202.6 lbs

Last Weight: 179.8 lbs

              Current Weight: 179.4 lbs

Weight Lost From Last Time: -0.4 lbs

Total Lost: 23.2 lbs

It wasn't a crazy amount this week (we all know why) but it is still a loss. I noticed what was happening and turned it around for the rest of the week to wholeheartedly deserve that 0.4lbs. My smallest weight loss in 2018, but so far my proudest.

https://www.askideas.com/87-most-famous-failure-quotes-sayings/

Have a great week.

Stay Focus,

Becky. xo

I did it... again.

Hola!

Not a fun happy post here, but an important one none-the-less. 

For the first time since January I emotionally ate. I was upset and went to food to make me feel better... twice. The first time was at home. I had an emotional night and was very upset about something. I waited and waited and at 8pm I decided to make myself my favourite meal: poutine (fries, cheese and gravy). I had a good sized portion and I am not going to lie... it felt good. I needed that poutine in that moment and I had it. I wasn't until I felt how uncomfortable I was with a distended stomach and feeling so full I was sleepy that I realised I did not need to be doing that. 

Same thing happened today. I had a stressful day at work, and instead of drinking water, taking breaths, making a list of ways to better my situation I turned to good old pizza day. I bought 2 slices of pepperoni pizza and enjoyed them along side my class. Again, it wasn't until about 15 minutes after the pizza that I realise that 1. I did not feel better about the stress of my day, and 2. I just felt guilty. Two nights out of 5 I have failed myself. It does not feel good. It feels awful.

BUT that is not going to stop me. The past 2 weeks have been rough, I am not going to lie. But I am not giving up. I am going to sit down and make a plan (maybe I will post it on here). I am going to get my butt into gear and get going. 

Emotional eating does not define me. I am not an "emotional eater," it is simply not who I am. I battle and struggle with using food as comfort, especially when I am feeling alone. I know this about myself.. which is why I refuse to allow this small sliver in my journey to define me and ruin the entire process. 

Tomorrow is a new day (not Sunday) and I am determined to make this week turn around and become a good week. I will not let they two slip ups ruin my mindset and ruin what I have been working so hard to accomplish. I will not go back...

Here's to a kickass Friday, Saturday, and Sunday! 

Stay Focused,

-Becky. xo