Day One: Project 1/4

An open letter to myself: 
Becka, 

You have been fooling yourself. It's time to step up and be accountable. Today, I stepped on a scale for the first time in a very very long time. I didn't lie when I put 185 lbs as my weight on my tracker a week ago. I just don't have a scale at home and that was the last number I saw on the scale. Well today, at a friend's house, I stepped on the scale again. Let's just say it wasn't 185.. it was 202 lbs. Fifteen pounds heavier than I thought, and officially the heaviest weight I have ever been. 

Instantly after I weighed myself, I started thinking about the variables that contributed to such a high number: (TMI ahead) I haven't gone to the bathroom yet today, I had a big breakfast to be able to work out properly, I usually weigh myself in a sports bra and undies today I was in my full clothing, I started new birth control pills this is to be expected. I started listing off all of these things to make myself feel better. 

NO Rebecca, no. You are 202 lbs because you have not even been thinking about how you have been eating since June. You have not even tried to exercise like you used to. Yes, you have been going to the gym three times a week since January, but then you made excuses and stopped going. You are the reason you are seeing the highest number you have ever seen on the scale. There is no other reason other than you have let yourself go. 

But it is okay. You have done this before and you can do it again. It is time to start doing better, being better. This number is such motivation for you to get better: be healthy, feel better about your life. 

You can do this. I am so sorry it has taken me to this point to see that things need to change. 

You will be better. 

I believe in you so much. 
I recently stood on the scale and saw the scariest number I have ever seen. I have never weighed over 200 lbs before (to be fair the highest I have ever seen on the scale is 195. I could sit here and make excuses for myself (a new move, a new job, new medication, new relationship... etc etc) but where will that get me? No where.

Sometimes you need to set yourself straight.. be accountable. That is exactly what I plan on doing from this moment forward. I have done this before. I have lost 30 lbs before, I CAN do this.

So where do I go from here? Well, this is project 1/4. That's right I want to lose 25% of my body weight in the next  6-8 months (inspired by Brett the intern's Project 1/3 on Youtube). I am so ready for this to begin. I will be posting often with my thoughts, feelings, pictures, etc. 

There just comes a time where things need to change. Today is that day. I am absolutely ready.

Join me.

xo

Becka Lee