I did it... again.

Hola!

Not a fun happy post here, but an important one none-the-less. 

For the first time since January I emotionally ate. I was upset and went to food to make me feel better... twice. The first time was at home. I had an emotional night and was very upset about something. I waited and waited and at 8pm I decided to make myself my favourite meal: poutine (fries, cheese and gravy). I had a good sized portion and I am not going to lie... it felt good. I needed that poutine in that moment and I had it. I wasn't until I felt how uncomfortable I was with a distended stomach and feeling so full I was sleepy that I realised I did not need to be doing that. 

Same thing happened today. I had a stressful day at work, and instead of drinking water, taking breaths, making a list of ways to better my situation I turned to good old pizza day. I bought 2 slices of pepperoni pizza and enjoyed them along side my class. Again, it wasn't until about 15 minutes after the pizza that I realise that 1. I did not feel better about the stress of my day, and 2. I just felt guilty. Two nights out of 5 I have failed myself. It does not feel good. It feels awful.

BUT that is not going to stop me. The past 2 weeks have been rough, I am not going to lie. But I am not giving up. I am going to sit down and make a plan (maybe I will post it on here). I am going to get my butt into gear and get going. 

Emotional eating does not define me. I am not an "emotional eater," it is simply not who I am. I battle and struggle with using food as comfort, especially when I am feeling alone. I know this about myself.. which is why I refuse to allow this small sliver in my journey to define me and ruin the entire process. 

Tomorrow is a new day (not Sunday) and I am determined to make this week turn around and become a good week. I will not let they two slip ups ruin my mindset and ruin what I have been working so hard to accomplish. I will not go back...

Here's to a kickass Friday, Saturday, and Sunday! 

Stay Focused,

-Becky. xo